


feelings are fatal

by wizardcleric



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Because it's funny, Essek Thelyss Has a Crush, Essek does physics reader does smth with history, Essek has rollerblades, Essek nation how we feelin, Idiots in Love, Other, Some Humor, Strangers to Lovers, They are figuring things out...slowly, gender-neutral, i'd say this is a medium burn, it takes em a bit but it doesn't take ages, there is some swearing, they spend very little time actually in uni, this is based around my very european uni experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardcleric/pseuds/wizardcleric
Summary: He had caught your attention your first day of university, back when you were a young 18-year-old fresh out of high school. After all, who wouldn’t notice him? Charming looks, great fashion sense, … the rollerblades.This was sure to end in a disaster.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to this very specific, very silly University AU I made entirely to destress during finals and also simply because of self-care.  
> The plot of this is basically just people going to each other's houses and the occasional café. The Covid-19 dream.  
> Please enjoy!

He had caught your attention your first day of university, back when you were a young 18-year-old fresh out of high school. After all, who wouldn’t notice him? Charming looks, great fashion sense, … the rollerblades.

The more you saw of Essek Thelyss, the more you were convinced that he had to be an absolute asshole. Y’know. For balance. And justice. And because it felt right.

You may not have shared a major, Essek and you, but you did share a few courses. Those times you were able to witness his razor-sharp mind. Quick-witted, charmingly academic, polite, and respectful. Seriously though, what the fuck was the deal with the rollerblades.

It was hard to admit it at first, but maybe you did have a tiny crush on him. But it was the kind of superficial crush one gets on someone they aren’t really close with. You didn’t really know Essek Thelyss, after all. And according to your dearest buddy Jester, basically half the student body had a crush on Essek too. It was inevitable, as she had put it.

Though Jester was more than ready to gush about the elaborately made-up scenario in her head where you and Essek would get together and be happy, you simply… didn’t have the headspace for things like that.

“But it would be _soooo_ adorable!” Jester leaned over the sketchbook she had been doodling in while you were over at her place. An assignment for one of her classes, she had said.

“Jes, I give you that much. It _would_ be cute. However, I really don’t know the guy. Like. At all.” You spoke, glancing at her as you took a pause from copying bullet points off the slides from your last lecture.

“You’re no fun.” Jester pouted. “Caleb says he’s brilliant.”

You look up at her once more. “Caleb said that?” Cue Jester’s playful smirk entering the scene.

“Oh? Interested?” She now had entirely abandoned her sketchbook, pushed it to the side on favor of clutching her pink, unicorn-shaped pillow close to her chest. Sprinkle, full of more rage than should be possible for such a small guy, hissed in discomfort at her sudden movements.

“Not more than before.” You lied, effortlessly, of course. Caleb was another dear, dear friend of yours, you simply didn’t know that he knew Essek well enough to call him “brilliant”.

“ _Suuuuure._ ” Jester drawled out, to mock you. Curse her and her adorable face you’d conquer the world for.

“Go back to your work, Lavorre.” You stuck out your tongue at her. She stuck hers out too, before going back to doodling.

~

University was really doing a number on you, you had to admit. Things were stressful, your brain painfully full while also being glaringly empty. Figuring out what to eat every day had become one of your least favorite adult decisions to make during your time at university, especially since your New Year’s resolution to be “healthier” and to “take care of your body”. Whatever that meant.

You were honestly doing it mostly for Caduceus.

Caduceus was one of your closest friends. He worked at his family’s café even though he had a degree in pathology and some experience in medicine. He most definitely was the mom friend in your little friend group of oddballs and also the scourge of your bad food-related habits.

Currently, though, you were staring into the fridge, fairly empty and uninspiring. You considered simply not eating or getting take out from that relatively cheap restaurant down the street, but then the deep voice of Caduceus sounded in the back of your head - like in the movies when the main character is remembering all the friends that supported them during their quest and – FINE. Grocery store it is. You win this round, Caduceus Clay.

Looking at the digital clock on your microwave, you quickly grabbed your coat, keys, and wallet and out the door you went.

The grocery store wasn’t far from your apartment, but the journey still felt like a bit of a hassle. Grabbing a shopping basket, you made your way through the aisles. Spending some time in the vegetable aisle, picking out some local veggies because you’re a good person and Caduceus, the figurative little angel sitting on your shoulder, made you think you might as well.

Just like that, you picked up things for quick and easy, yet somewhat healthy meals.

And then, the bane of your existence came into view. Your archnemesis… the snack aisle.

Oh, dread. You knew you technically _shouldn’t_ , yet you really wanted your favorite snack.

That’s when the unthinkable happened. A turn of events that you knew would leave you shook and cringing for at least another month, if not more. (It really depended on how this encounter would turn out.)

You saw someone you …. _barely_ knew _._ Oh, and of course it was none other than Essek Thelyss, on his rollerblades. How does he keep wearing those everywhere--?

Focus. Maybe this encounter would turn around! He hadn’t seen you ye- okay never mind. You just had eye contact…

Oh SHIT, you just had eye contact. It was too late to back out of this now. What to do, what to do? The casual, lowkey nod? To seem cool and aloof? A silent wave to seem friendly? Yes, yes. Good.

Wait fuck, does he even recognize you? Does he know who you are? This changes everything.

You saw Essek give you a small wave, so you did what any sane person would do.

“I didn’t take you for the type to enjoy sweets.”

Anything but initiating conversation. You FOOL. No one wants that. Not even you, and you started this bullshit!

“Ah, we all have our weaknesses.” He spoke, evidently slightly miffed you had struck up conversation.

“I recommend those ones.” You pointed at a bag of slightly more expensive truffles, at least for grocery store standards. You then grabbed your snack of choice. “Well, I’ll see you in the lecture tomorrow, Essek.”

“Ah, likewise. Until tomorrow…?” He trailed off oddly, but you were already in motion, going towards the registers.

It wasn’t until you had paid, halfway back home, that you realized that what struck you as odd about his goodbye to you was him insinuating he didn’t know you name.

Fucking hell.

Whoop-de-doo. You had another nightmarish social encounter to invade your mind in moments of calm. Just what you needed in your life.

You just hoped you’d remember to actually introduce yourself to Essek tomorrow. That is, if you could even look him in the eye after that disaster.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *buries the distressing reality of Essek's current situation behind a pile of AU* All is good : )

The next day arrived very quickly! But also so agonizingly slow you felt like your time should have run out like 5 times during that one night.

After that encounter with Essek the day before, you honestly dreaded the lecture today. You did not particularly look forward to being confronted with your own embarrassing behavior. What you _did_ look forward to, though, was your meeting with your buddy Caleb in Caduceus’ café later in the afternoon. Maybe then you could ask Caleb about Essek. And Frumpkin. Because Frumpkin honestly gave you life.

You entered the lecture hall. It was one of your history classes, ancient history, which also happened to be the one you saw Essek in. Fairly immediately upon making your entrance, you locked eyes with Essek, this time giving a small wave and a smile, a gesture he returned. You then made your way over to your usual seat, not too far away from Essek, actually, just three rows back.

The professor entered the auditorium. As usual with history, especially ancient history, professors, he deserved the adjective “ancient” himself. Quite old, quite dusty, bad with tech, yet competent enough in his teaching of the subject matter. He knew his stuff, that much was clear.

The lecture was fine, a bit boring at times because your professor had loading times for his brain, which was okay and honestly quite amusing as well as relatable.

“I am well aware no one wants a group project, but you get a group project anyw--.” The professor said, almost deafened by the groans of roughly 100 students’ souls leaving their bodies. “Don’t be so dramatic.” Shit, he had you there, not gonna lie.

“Anyways, I want you to find a partner and write a 15-page paper on the end of the Roman republic together. The due date is in 3 weeks. Please take 5 minutes now to find a partner and then raise your hand so I can write it down.” He spoke and the room erupted in chatter and groans of discomfort alike.

You quickly realized that the only person you marginally knew in this lecture was Essek. And from the fact that Essek was glancing over at you, you guessed he was in the same boat.

As coolly as you could, you gave an ok sign.

After the promised 5 minutes, the professor started writing down the groups. You raised your hand and announced Essek’s and your name.

The lecture then went on as usual.

Once it was over, you approached Essek, who was putting his folder away, the words “Ancient History” neatly written on a white labelling sticker.

“Hey, Essek! When do you have time to look through the library?” You spoke, somewhat timidly.

“Ah, hello. I think I may have some time tomorrow afternoon. Would that be okay?” He replied politely.

“That works great for me. Here, let me give you my number so we can text each other the specifics.” You took out a small piece of scrap paper, scribbled your number on it and handed it over to Essek, who pocketed it.

“Well, I’ll be off now. Text me any time!” You smiled brightly, not at all uncomfortable by giving your stranger-crush your number.

“Alright, thank you.” He spoke as you turned to leave. “By the way, it’s nice to formally meet you, (Y/N).” You looked at him, realizing that this was indeed the first time he had learned your name, even after you had reminded yourself the day before to introduce yourself properly this time.

You did turn a bit red then, you feared, so naturally, you did the only thing your brain could think of doing in that situation. You finger-gunned.

...

_Oh my god you finger-gunned._

~

Thoroughly uncomfortable, you made your way over to Cad’s café. The Blooming Grove wasn’t terribly far from the main uni building, but it was far enough that most students would rather flock to the better-established chain coffee shops directly adjacent to the main building.

The Blooming Grove was not only _your_ safe space. All of your friends would all gather there once a week at least, depending on how busy the week was for everyone. Cad was, of course, part of that friend group you jokingly called The Mighty Nein because making fun of Caleb’s very adorable accent would always be a delight.

Anyways, you entered the shop and your entire body immediately untensed. Caduceus was always behind the counter, despite his siblings also working at the establishment. You greeted him with a hug, he greeted you by returning it and giving a compliment to match. He then pointed you over to the “Might Nein”-table, also known as simply… the table you and your friends usually hang out at. Caleb was already sitting there.

“Caleb!!” You greeted your friend, feeling warm and happy to spend time with him.

“Hallo.” Caleb had a habit of sneaking a few words in his first language in, which was a character quirk you all appreciated. You enveloped him in a quick hug too before taking a seat on the bench opposite from him.

“Anything new?” He asked you, Cad bringing your regular orders.

“Usually I’d say no, but I actually just got a group assignment, and my partner is Essek Thelyss. Jester said you know him?” You asked, sipping your beverage.

“Oh, ja I do. Same major.” Caleb said. Caleb was a physics major, though he dabbled in other courses that catch his interest too every once in a while. This was, in fact, how you and Caleb met and in turn, how you became part of the Nein.

“Ah, I should have figured. Is he nice?” You couldn’t help but ask. Caleb rose his brow at your interest.

“He is nice enough. Brilliant man, a genius, even.” Caleb says.

“Bet he’s not as smart as you, Caleb.” You praised Caleb while he looked at you, unimpressed. Man was self-deprecating enough as is.

“What’s with the interest though?” He stirred his coffee as he looked at you.

“Just curious since I knew nothing about him. That’s all.” You said, you know, like a liar.

“Uh huh.” Caleb hummed and took a small pause. “You know, it’s okay to admit you have a crush on him. Half the university does.”

“Anyways—” Not today, Satan. “How were _your_ lectures today?” You changed the subject awkwardly as both Caleb and Caduceus laughed at your misery.

Eventually, Caleb had to leave. Veth had invited him to dinner with her family. (You adored her son.) So you bid him goodbye and did some more reading before eventually saying your own goodbyes to Caduceus and heading home.

_It was just a stupid crush. Not like it would stay either way._


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially finished writing this fic, so expect very regular updates! Please enjoy :)

Essek texted you first, that day. Something you should have anticipated, seeing as you gave him your number, but he didn’t give you his in return. His texting style was very formal despite you most definitely having made of fool of yourself the day before as well as today.

**_XXXX-XXXXXXX_ **

_Hello (Y/N).  
I am texting you to confirm our meeting in  
the library tomorrow. Would 3pm work for you?  
Please text me back as soon as possible.  
  
Essek T._

Now, why this was formatted and written like an email? No idea. At least he didn’t pull the whole “I hope this message finds you in good health” kinda deal. You quickly saved his number and replied.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_Hi Essek! 3pm should work a-okay. Want to meet  
up in front of the main building? You’re not from  
the ancient history department, so idk if you know  
where the library is. We can also not do that,   
up to u, floaty boi._

Had you just called him “floaty boi” and pressed send without rereading your text? Yep. Wow. Well, either he takes it okay or you’ll be punished by the most awkward assignment yet.

He texted back roughly 5 minutes later. Those 5 minutes were the longest of your life.

**_Essek_ **

_That is a very kind offer, it saves me  
the trouble of looking at the floor plans.  
I will see you tomorrow, then.  
Though what’s with the nickname?_

_Essek T._

Well shit, what is one supposed to say to that? I thought it was funny? I didn’t think at all and just did it? I forgot you weren’t one of my close friends, so I accidentally called you by a nickname? Choices.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_Oh, my bad. It mainly just slipped out.  
I’ll refrain from calling you that, don’t worry!  
Though you do have to admit that it’s accurate.  
You look like you’re floating when your legs  
aren’t visible. What, with the rollerblades and all :,)  
  
_

**_Essek_ **

_I see. That makes sense.  
I don’t mind the nickname.  
  
Essek T._

_( **Y/N) (L/N)**_

_:)_

He didn’t mind the nickname! Strange, to you, but hey. It was much better than being reprimanded by your project partner. A success in your book and a great start to your relationship as uni friends. And with that, you went back to making dinner and proceeded to royally distract yourself from the mortifying ordeal of being known by watching trash TV.

The next day you went to the meeting spot a little early, hoping to make the impression of a responsible student, especially of one that wouldn’t sabotage his probably very pristine grades or tarnish his reputation.

You waited for a little bit before he arrived, slightly early himself. Interchanging normal greetings, you headed inside, feeling quite proud of yourself for not stumbling over your words too bad.

Side by side you made your way through the old, maze-like building, taking a few turns, walking (or rolling) through a couple of doors before landing in front of the library.

“Essek, let’s look for some literature, shall we?” You turned to him with a smile.

“We shall.” He gave a smile of his own and with that, you departed on your epic quest for look for adequate primary and secondary sources.

You spent quite some time in there, communicating in hushed whispers, seeing as the library was quite small and relatively unoccupied, amplifying any noise for those few that were there.

You picked out a few promising titles, flipping through their contents before turning to Essek to see his picks. Satisfied, you marked down your names in the registry and went on your merry way.

“Essek, do you want to work a bit more now or would you rather call it a day?” You held the books close to your chest as you glanced at the gliding man beside you.

“I don’t mind. We could start dividing the work.” Essek stated simply, though not dismissively.

“Wanna go for a spot in a café? If you don’t mind a short walk, or – er – roll? It’s not very crowded.” Cad’s place was always one of your favorites for studying when you didn’t want to stare at your apartment wall anymore.

“Lead the way, then.” A simple smile and off you were.

You reached The Blooming Grove not 10 minutes later. Because you were such a polite person, you held the door open for Essek while he rolled in effortlessly and elegantly.

As usual, the tension that had built up during the day faded softly and effortlessly. You let out a content sigh and turned your attention to Caduceus.

“Hi ‘Duceus!” you grinned at the tree of a man. “I brough a friend.”

“Ah. Hello.” Caduceus spoke gently, as was his nature. “And to you too, stranger. My name is Caduceus Clay.” The barista put out his hand for Essek to take. When you looked over at Essek, he looked caught off guard, flabbergasted, perhaps. Peculiar.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance. Essek Thelyss.” Essek took Cad’s hand with a slightly uneasy smile, though he quickly regained composure.

So even Essek had his awkward social moments. Hehehe… interesting.

“Essek, since it’s your first time here, I recommend letting Caduceus surprise you with the drink. He’s scarily good at figuring out someone’s taste.” You laughed. “That is, unless you have something you really crave right now.”

Essek considered it for a moment before speaking, “I’ll let you surprise me then, Mr. Clay.” To which Caduceus gave a soft smile.

While Caduceus prepared your drinks, you and Essek found a spot with a table to comfortably write.

“Sorry for dragging you here, Essek, I just come here all the time with friends.” You looked at him hesitantly, it _was_ a bit awkward that you dragged him here immediately. Just keep it cool…

“No, no it’s a charming place. Quiet.” Essek coughed rather artificially. “I might just return.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You ought to meet some of my friends, Essek. Oh!” You brightened up, a flood of relief rushing through you. “You already know Caleb.”

“Widogast?” He questioned.

“That’s the one. He’s one of my best friends.” You started organizing your supplies on the table. “He’s great.”

“He is quite the genius.” Essek comments, eyeing you curiously as you chuckled.

“Caleb said the same thing about you.”

Then Caduceus brought the drinks and a small plate of assorted, homemade sweets “on the house” as he had put it, earning him an emotional hug from your cared-for self.

Essek, meanwhile, took a sip of his drink. Warm flavors, bursting sweetly in his mouth without being overpowering. Home-y. Just right. It warmed his heart and just as he had observed on you when you entered, he felt the tensions in his body leave.

“Is it good?” You asked, resting your head on one of your arms.

“Sweeter than I anticipated, but good.” He was visibly relaxed; Cad had done it once again, the mad lad. “Not quite what I imagined for myself.”

“Caduceus chooses drinks more according to what he thinks someone might benefit from. Maybe you just need a bit of sweetness in your life.” You grinned.

“Maybe I do.” He laughed, and though he noticeably held back, it was still one of the prettiest sounds you had ever heard.

~

When you took the train home, you checked your phone for the first time in a couple of hours.

**_Blueberry_ **

_I spy, I spy sooomeone… in looOoOve!_

_[Image]_

Jester had sent a picture… of yourself….. staring at Essek back at The Blooming Grove… into the group chat. Oh no.

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_Ohohohohoho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Jester what the fuck how did I not see you_

**_Sea Shanties amirite_ **

_You were too preoccupied looking at Essek_

**_Beaurefuck LioNOPE_ **

_Is that the purple bitch Caleb hangs out  
with_

**_Catboy_ **

_It is_

_Did Jester change my name to catboy  
again_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Why am I friends with you all again?_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_We’re too sexy_

**_Beaurefuck LioNOPE_ **

_(Y/N) do we really need another purple bitch_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_We do. (Y/N) I demand u take ur new bf with us  
to Cad’s._

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_I’ll ask him, your royal highness_

_He’s also not my bf, Mr. fruit dick_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_Haha, Mr. fruit dick_

_Good times. I should do that again._

****

Alright. Enough of that for the day.

Sure, you had this stupid little crush on Essek…. But like. Why.

Essek was handsome, smart, could be funny though he seemed a bit repressed. You enjoyed his company, and he was a pleasant guy to spend time with. Essek Thelyss was the kind of guy your parents would actually die for you to bring home.

No, that was too early of a thought. Too deep of a thought for someone you had first talked to three days ago. It would be for the best if you won’t get too invested. Chances were, he did not even _want_ to be remotely around you, that he did not enjoy your company at all. And you couldn’t fault him for that!

Seemed like another fun night of “Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?”. Well, first food.


	4. 4

Essek and you had decided not to meet up for a few days, instead choosing to spend the day reading through the relevant literature on your own time, taking notes and marking important citations.

The Nein had taken to bothering you about Essek quite a bit since Jester had sent that photo. Especially Mollymauk and Jester were the main perpetrators in this incessant spiral of utter madness. God forbid you hang around a guy one (1) time. Molly doesn’t even go to uni and he had the audacity to bring the line “half the student body has a crush on him”.

(Seriously, one more mention of that phrase and you’d go crazy)

Anyways, currently you were more than aware of the mess you had accidentally gotten yourself into last night when you promised Molly you’d invite Essek to your next Mighty Meeting (as Caleb calls it with frightening lack of irony).

Your fingers hovered over your phone’s keyboard, Essek’s chat open. You had stopped counting after you had erased your 12th “hey”. Blegh, you really needed to get this over with.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_Hey Essek. My friends and I were  
wondering if you want to join us  
during our weekly hangout session  
at the café we went to the other day._

_Caduceus and Caleb will be there too._

Essek didn’t take too long to read your message. You stared at the chat for a few moments, almost flinching when the three dots appeared. Essek typed for quite a long time, so you feared the worst. You had totally fucked up, hadn’t you?

**_Essek_ **

_I am honored your friends want me around.  
When should I meet you?_

_Essek T._

…Huh? Did Essek seriously just say yes? What the fuck?

You quickly texted Essek about the time and place, the hangout being 2 days from now.

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Essek said yes. He’ll say hi in 2 days_

**_Enemy of the state_ **

_Who is Essek_

**_Blueberry_ **

_(Y/N)’s boyfriend, Veth_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Ffs he’s not my boyfriend_

**_Blueberry_ **

_YET_

**_Enemy of the state_ **

_(Y/N), as your college mom, do I need  
to give you the talk_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Veth…………………………_

_Anything but that_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_Pspspspsps (Y/N) add him to the gc_

_Don’t be shy_

Maybe you should do some work. Man, work sounded great just about now. Nothing seemed better than working on some good old university assignments. What isn’t there to love about them? You sure loved everything about assignments. Perhaps you should do some chores too! Fuck, your brain? So big! Look at you, avoiding uncomfortable feelings by immersing yourself in copious amounts of work.

Hey, at least you were productive.

When you finally sat down in the evening though, a warm bowl of food in front of you, you did check your phone once.

Next to the copious messages from the Nein group chat, Essek had sent you a message as well.

**_Essek_ **

_I must admit, I am a bit nervous to  
meet your friends. However, it also  
makes me... happy._

_Essek T._

You stared at it for a solid 5 minutes, though it felt like longer to you. What a… pleasantly unexpected moment of sincerity from Essek. It melted your heart a bit, knowing he seemed to feel comfortable with you enough to share his thoughts like that.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_You’ll do great, Essek. You seem  
like a mighty fine person to me.  
They are all looking forward to  
meeting you, y’know? No worries._

_:)_

**_Essek_ **

_I’ll trust you on this._

_Thank you, (Y/N)_

He was dangerous, that man. And you feared you were in deeper than you thought.

~

The next day, you had arranged to meet up with Jester at her place, an event you were dreading quite a lot considering her… enthusiasm regarding your supposed love life. Theoretically, you knew that Jester meant no harm and would never willingly make you uncomfortable with her teasing. You were aware that it all was in good fun.

Thankfully, when you had actually arrived at Jester’s place, she didn’t mention Essek at all. She welcomed you inside as always, you two ate pastries and other sweets together, sitting on the floor, while laughing about silly things that happened in your respective lectures and classes.

Jester’s classes were especially rich in silly moments, seeing as one of her former art professors, Professor Artagan, was a force of absolute chaos, not unlike Jester. Naturally, those two hit it off immediately and in true Jester-fashion, she and Artagan now regard one another as friends. She hadn’t been a student of Artagan in a few semesters, but she still liked to help out during his classes.

Professor Artagan’s pranks would in most cases boil down to harmless agitation and sarcastic debate, seeing as he was bound by this thing called “law”. You had never met Jester’s favorite Professor friend before, something you were quite glad about, since those two together surely couldn’t be good for your heart.

However, as all good things must come to an end, Jester did eventually ask you about Essek.

“ _Sooooooo_? Is Essek nice? Brilliant like Caleb said?” She had a mischievous glint in her eyes. You gave a sigh.

“He is.” Jester leaned in closer, quietly going _“go on, go on!”_ , so you relented. “Essek is quite pleasant to be around, polite, a bit withdrawn. I can see how Caleb would enjoy his company.”

“Okay, that’s Caleb but what about youuuu?” Jester pouted a bit. “Still got a crush on him?”

Jester stared at you expectantly as you hesitated. _Did you?_ You had pondered so often before. Did you have a crush on Essek? Was it more than a crush? Or did you simply admire him? Or were you convincing yourself of that last one because Essek was so painfully out of your league? Ah, you were overthinking again. You were overthinking again, and Jester was still staring at you. Expectantly. (Menacingly.)

“I… am not quite sure of my feelings, Jes, and it’s a pain to figure it out.” You groaned as you rested your head on the coffee table. “When did you know you had romantic feelings for Fjord?”

Jester pondered for a moment.

“Hmmm, let’s see. I just noticed one day, out of the blue, that whenever Fjord is around, I feel super super safe and content! I feel like everything is going to be okay.” Jester smiled, laying her own head down on the coffee table so she’d get eye-contact with you.

You returned her smile. The idea of feeling safe with someone appealed to you. You decided to keep that in mind for future reference.

“Thank you, Jester.”

“Of course.” She reassured. “That’s what friends do.”

Yeah, yeah it was. And by god, you were lucky you had her.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving the Nein majors was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do

The day of the Mighty Meeting (still a silly name but you adored it) came quicker than anticipated. You decided to take the train as always, walking to Cad’s from your home being a bit too long for your general enjoyment.

At the train station, you spotted a blur of deep purple in your peripheral vision. Knowing that Essek likely lived around your neighborhood, evident from the grocery store fiasco, you turned to see. It was Essek! Great! Great.

You observed him for a moment. He, dressed sleek as always, was focused on the train tracks ahead, listening to some music, you noted as you spotted his ear buds. Essek was tapping his foot (how does he do that with rollerblades?) nervously, anxiety from meeting so many new people, you guessed. You decided to approach him, tapped on his shoulders with a quiet call of his name. He turned and looked in surprise before he recognized you.

He removed his ear buds. “Ah, hello, (Y/N).” Essek spoke.

“Hi, Essek! I was a bit surprised to see you here, but then I remembered you live around here too.” You watched as the train rolled in. Both of you got on and stood near the doors, seeing as it was quite full already. You held onto one of those grabby things trains have and Essek did the same, a polite distance away, yet unwillingly inching closer due to the train’s movement.

“I admit, I had forgotten as well.” He commented with a slight chuckle. “Though I am glad I have company right now.”

“Still nervous, huh? That’s fine, Essek.” You spoke earnestly. “Do you want me to give you a rundown of my friends? So you can prepare mentally?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that, though I am concerned about the fact that ‘preparation’ seems to be needed.” Essek… joked? Oh my god he joked.

“I mean… you haven’t met them yet.” You laughed. “Especially Jester can be quite the pink whirlwind. She’s an art student.”

“Pink whirlwind… noted.” Essek nodded solemnly.

“The next person who’s been quite keen on meeting you is Mollymauk. He’s not a student at university here, but rather a tattoo artist whose shop is just around the corner from Cad’s. Since no one knows what he was doing before he came to town 2 years ago, we’ve been joking that he was a cult leader before.” You couldn’t help but laugh, eliciting another chuckle from Essek.

“Tattoo artist cult leader. Interesting company.” Your attempts at easing his nerves seemed to be going great.

“Exactly. Beauregard was the one who befriended him and his friend Yasha first. She was mainly crushing on Yasha.” You remembered Beau telling you the story of how she met her now-girlfriend. “Beau is a history major with a thing for martial arts. Yasha studies psychology, something you might not quite guess when judging her appearance.”

“Her appearance being…?” He asked.

“Goth as hell.” Earning an “ah” from Essek.

“Oh, another one you might wanna brace for.” You got serious, sarcastically. “Veth, a business major dabbling in pharmaceutics to help her husband’s apothecary. She’s also a mom.”

Essek nodded. “Business major mom.” You nodded, too, in agreement.

“Then there’s Fjord. He’s a real nice guy and Jester’s boyfriend. They got together not too long ago.” You stated. “He’s a bio major, mostly marine biology for quite some time. Don’t ask about the turtle incidents.” Essek stared at you, confusion written all over his face.

“The rest you know. Cad’s got a background in pathology, a funeral business being his family’s primary source of income. The café is a passion project.” You glanced over at the doors as the voice of the train lady announced your stop.

The walk (or in Essek’s case, roll) to The Blooming Grove was a fairly short and uneventful one. Essek told you that he had a younger brother named Verin who was currently studying law and rooming with him. Once again, you held the door open for Essek just as he was about to comment on the “Closed” sign at the door. Caduceus always closes shop early on days of the holy Mighty Meetings.

Chatter immediately met your ears, almost everyone was there already, and it seemed like you were the last ones to arrive. You approached the regular table, a space on the couch next to Caleb left open for you and Essek, your beverages from last time already waiting.

Dramatically, you took the “stage”.

“Mothers and Fuckers of the Nein. It is with utmost pleasure…” Jester giggled at that. “that I may present to you: Essek Thelyss!” You gestured to Essek enthusiastically ~~(like the Will Smith meme)~~ , Essek just stood there semi-awkwardly, giving a wave and uneasy smile. The Nein clapped as you and your companion took your seats.

You heard Essek greet Caleb and Cad quietly by name before settling comfortably. Molly, in all his tattooed glory, spoke up next.

“Well, Essek, I think I am speaking for the entire group when I say a hearty ‘Welcome to the Mighty Nein’!” He held up his mug full of hot chocolate with rum. “A toast to the new blood!”

Essek _barely_ managed to say, “Thank you for having me.” before the toast was made and laughter ensued.

The afternoon was spent by all of you chattering animatedly. You checked on Essek every once in a while to find him warmed up and engaging in still polite, yet comfortable conversation. Not gonna lie, your heart melted a bit at the sight, seeing Essek comfortable when talking to Jester, Veth, Molly, even guarded Beauregard. You felt… happy.

The day ended with Essek in the group chat and the two of you taking the train back home together. The encountered seemed to have tired Essek out quite a bit, so you offered to simply listen to music together. You shared your earphones and played some calm tunes.

When you parted ways, the only thing you could think was that this was a day well-spent. You went to bed content after you had shot Essek a quick message.

Essek was deep in thought when he returned home and absentmindedly greeted Verin, not that you had any idea of this. In his room, he sat on his bed and stared on his phone, home screen now littered with notifications from the Mighty Nein group chat.

He had… fun today. He really did. The colorful bunch that called itself the “Mighty Nein” had grown on him already. Unprecedented. Essek thought back to what you had said about the drink Caduceus had made for him. You had told him he maybe needed a bit of sweetness in his life. Maybe, just maybe, this was it.

He glanced at his phone one more time.

**_(Y/N)_ **

_I’m super glad you came along today! Hope  
you had fun :) let’s do this again some time_

He thought about what to reply, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

**_Essek Thelyss_ **

_I don’t remember the last time I had  
this much fun. Thank you for inviting me._

_:)_

Today felt like that drink, he thought to himself, warm and sweet and enjoyed with you.


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is entirely me going crazy going stupid, so I hope you enjoy!

Your interactions with Essek were sparse during the following few days. Both of you were busy with other courses and, well, still very much in the research portion of your shared assignment. Despite all that, you still longed to see Essek again, for entirely platonic reasons of course. So, you shot him a text.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_Hey Essek :) I was just wondering  
if you wanted to do some work together?  
You can come by my apartment if ya want._

**_Essek_ **

_Oh YES, (Y/N) I would LOVE to  
xoxo ur Essek bby_

Huh?? What the fuck was that. Then you remembered that Essek lived with his younger brother.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_asdlfkgjj ngl Verin, that was p funny_

_Now please be a darling and give  
Essek his phone back, ‘kay?_

**_Essek_ **

_So close to passing the vibe check smh_

_But FINE lmao_

_I apologize for that. He just snatched it  
away._

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_No need to apologize. It was pretty funny_

**_Essek_ **

_Verin is threatening to steal my phone  
again if I don’t ask you whether you’d  
like to come over here instead._

Curse you, Verin, but also thank you for existing.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_I wouldn’t be opposed, but if Verin’s gotta force  
ya to invite me, I don’t know if I should take you  
up on that offer, Essek :,)_

**_Essek_ **

_No, it’s fine, I promise. Verin’s just…  
accelerating the inevitable, I suppose._

The inevitable? Oh fuck off, tingly feeling in your chest. He probably didn’t mean it like that.

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_Well, if that’s the case then send me your  
address and I’ll be over in a few :)_

Essek’s apartment wasn’t terribly far away from yours, so you packed your books, laptop, and necessities and off you were. It was a short but energizing walk, though you _were_ slightly nervous to enter Essek’s living space and meet his brother. A brother that seemed to be the polar opposite to the reserved physics student that was Essek.

Ringing the doorbell, you were let into the apartment building and as you ascended the stairs, you were greeted by an Essek desperately trying to shove who you assumed to be Verin back inside the apartment.

“Hi Essek!” You greeted, trying (and failing) to hold in your laughter. “And Verin, nice to meet you.”

“Hello, (Y/N). Please, come inside.” Essek smiled, giving Verin one last shove.

Essek led you inside in all his rollerblade-less glory, taking your coat and hanging it on a coat hanger while you took off your shoes. You turned to Verin, taller than Essek yet not entirely rid of his baby face yet. The family resemblance was clear, though instead of Essek’s side-swept side-cut, Verin sported fairly long and wavy hair he presently kept in a loose bun.

“Hi again.” You held out your hand for Verin to take. “I’m (Y/N), but you knew that already.”

“Sure did!” He grinned. “Thanks for making sure my brother doesn’t die a lonely death.”

“I do what I can.” You spoke, gravely, making Verin laugh before he excused himself. Essek showed you to his room.

“Do you want to drink anything?” Essek asked as you sat down on his bed. “I can brew us some tea.”

“Oh, that sounds great. Thank you, Essek.” And with that, Essek left you alone in his room.

Naturally, you took a good look around.

The apartment, even if it was rental, still had a very Essek touch to it. Many dark colours, dark woods, blue accents, dashes of white. There were framed art prints of star maps, illustrations and other cool knick-knacks hanging on the walls. It was homey in a very Essek way. You liked it. His bed was comfy too, quite soft, and roomy with an extra fuzzy blanket. Dangerous conditions if you were to get work done.

What, were those glow in the dark stars--

It didn’t take long for Essek to return with two mugs and a smile upon seeing you.

“Careful, it’s hot.” He handed you one of the mugs as you muttered a “thank you.”

Then, Essek did the unthinkable. An act that shattered your entire perception of who he was as a person. That was maybe a bit dramatic, but it felt like an appropriate way of phrasing it at the moment.

Essek sat down at his desk and opened a little side-cabinet attached to it… revealing a family sized box of those truffles you recommended to him back when you embarrassed yourself at the grocery store. To think he actually bought them… your power.

“This is the second box… Sweets are never safe when Verin knows they are there. I had to sneak them in.” Essek explained. Younger siblings are all the same, just in general. “Would you like some?”

The rational part of your brain would say no. The dominant part of your brain? Ooga booga choccy truffle.

Ooga booga choccy truffle it was.

“Fuck me up, floaty boi.” You simply said, only to be attacked by flying missiles aka. chocolate truffles being hurled in your direction by Essek.

Like, sure sir, feel free! But also what the fuck though—

So like any sane person, you started trying to catch them with your mouth. Yes they were individually wrapped, why do you ask?

It ended up in a fit of uncontrolled giggling on either side. At some point you began to throw them back at Essek, gave him a taste of his own medicine, y’know?

At the end, you were both left panting and flushed after your laughing fit, positively loosened up and absolutely ill-prepared to start shifting into work mode.

Eventually, you did start working though. Talking about what you had researched so far and tackling the structure of the paper. Essek even joined you on the bed so you could more comfortably talk with one another.

It felt… good, doing the little things with Essek. Despite only having properly known him for a bit more than a week maybe, you were absolutely comfortable around Essek. And better yet, Essek seemed much more comfortable around you in return.

The man sitting cross-legged in front of you, with actual glow in the dark stars stuck to his bedroom wall, was _nothing_ like the unattainable genius whose favored mode of transportation were rollerblades of all things. Speaking – or rather thinking – of… what was up with that.

“Say, Essek.” You started. “I have been curious for a while. What’s up with the rollerblades?”

“Ah, that.” He looked a bit flustered. “Well, it started as a joke but now it’s kind of part of the expectation held towards me? I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“Hm.” You considered this for a moment. “No, no it does make sense. You definitely stuck out to me because of that.”

“I can see why I would.” Essek fiddled a page of his book. “Most of the times it can be a bit of a hassle. Though I suppose it all turned out okay.”

“Yeah.” You smiled at him. “I think it did too.”

You ended up staying at the Thelyss brothers’ apartment until the evening. Essek had asked you to stay for dinner and with the help of Verin, he convinced you. (Though it only really took Essek asking nicely for you to budge.)

After that, you headed home. You glanced at your phone, noticing a message from an unknown number.

**_XXXX-XXXXXXX_ **

_Hey, this is Verin._

_I stole Essek’s phone for your  
number. Sorry bout that._

_I just wanted to say thank you_

_I genuinely haven’t heard Essek  
laugh in literal years._

_So yea, thank you_

**_(Y/N) (L/N)_ **

_No need to thank me, Verin._

_I like your brother’s company_

_I’m glad he’s coming out of his shell :)_

Yeah. You had to protect Essek Thelyss at all costs. Wait. What was it that Jester had said about crushes? Something about a feeling of safety? Surely this must go the other way too then? Wanting the other to feel safe around you?

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch Verin appear in game and just be the polar opposite of what I wrote here


	7. 7

It, again, had been a few days since you’ve last seen Essek. You were in more frequent contact via texting though. In those days, your feelings for Essek, whatever those were, festered. It was tender affection, you almost dared to call it. Nurturing, a desire to be close. It scared you a bit, you had to admit, that Essek might reject that level of intimacy.

You… needed advice. That much was clear. At first you had debated to simply google but that seemed inadequate and not nearly personal enough. After all, what were you going to put into the search bar? “How do I know if I like the guy I’ve been lowkey pining over for years and who I’ve been hanging out with more only to realize that he’s really sweet and super my type”? Ridiculous.

No, you did the reasonable thing (you hoped) and texted your very trusty and very reliable friends that had both been in multiple relationships already. They should be able to help you figure things out.

Right?

Well, you ended up texting both Yasha and Fjord and they agreed to meet with you in your apartment the same day. You prepared accordingly and waited for their arrival.

They opened the front door casually, entering as if it was their own home because of course they did. You used to complain jokingly, but now you just let them do their thing. They’ve been some of your closest friends for literal years. They can enter without knocking all they want.

“Hello.” You heard Yasha’s soft voice sound, followed by Fjord’s equally polite greeting.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming. Do you guys want anything? Tea? Coffee?” You had been lying on the floor, as you do, when you asked your friends.

“We can help ourselves; you seem to be in a bit of a mood right now.” Fjord very helpfully said, to which Yasha nodded. You just gave your thumbs up.

You weren’t really “in a mood”, which is to say you totally were. The knowledge that you were about to have a potentially deep and emotional talk with your friends put you in a bit of a lethargic state. Kind of like a really, really cozy, and lazy Sunday. You didn’t quite know what to make of it.

Yasha and Fjord started making a mess of your kitchen, a mess you knew they would clean up after they were done. After all, these were your responsible friends. What that says about your choice of friends was beyond you.

Eventually, Yasha and Fjord joined you on the floor, sitting, which peer pressured you into sitting up as well. Both now had a hot cup of tea and like the little darlings they were, they had fixed you a cup as well.

“So, (Y/N), what’s wrong?” Yasha asked, a crease in her brow. “You rarely ask for advice.” Fjord nodded solemnly.

You buried your face in your arms, speaking in a muffled voice. “This is going to sound stupid as fuck but… what’s love like?” You glanced up at them to see their reaction.

They looked incredulous for a moment, before a look of understanding passed over both of their faces, Yasha’s before Fjord’s, as they put two and two together, which resulted in their faces softening into a gentle, fond expression as they eyed you.

“(Y/N), is this about Essek?” Fjord asked and you nodded silently. “But that’s wonderful! That’s great.”

“Yes, (Y/N), I’m so happy for you.” Yasha smiled her small but meaningful smile.

“You guys, I am just… unsure about my feelings. What does it feel like, to be in love, for you?” You asked, exasperation clear in your voice.

Fjord started.

“When I am around Jester, I want her to be safe no matter what. And I feel appreciated and loved by the way she adores me.” Fjord pondered. “It’s a give and take on either side. It’s safe yet excites you.”

Then Yasha continued.

“I admire Beau. She inspires me to become better, for her and myself. And she has told me that she feels the same way.” Yasha looked out the window with a faint smile. “Love is a give and take, yes, but it is also something that inspires.”

You watched them, as they talked of their experiences, the butterflies, and the steady deep bonds they shared. And your heart… it swelled at the thought. The adoration in their eyes as they spoke of their partners made you wonder whether you looked at Essek like that.

Warmth was not a foreign feeling when you were around Essek, quite the opposite. It was sweetness, laughter bubbling in the back of your throat, it was effortless.

Maybe this was love.

“Thank you two, truly.” You looked at both their faces with a smile. “I’m glad to have you both.”

~

Oftentimes after your lectures, you liked to stop by Molly’s tattoo parlor, The Nine Eyes. Your visits were never long as Molly’s artistic services were quite popular and sought after. The Nine Eyes was a strange establishment, and that drew people in. After all, what other places were there where you could get both an expertly done tattoo _and_ your fortune read, all by the undeniably handsome owner of the shop?

Mollymauk was a character you appreciated to no end. He was adventurous, liked to try new things, yet reliable. He was arrogant, yes, but never condescending. He sought to help people out where the opportunity presented itself, and that in of itself was admirable to you. Also, he dressed like a mix between a Victorian dandy and a court jester, so what else could one want?

Molly, despite what people who didn’t really know him might have thought, was an excellent listener and even better at giving advice. He rarely veiled his thoughts and presented them clearly, not unlike Beau who liked to dish out truth with iron-like determination, something you appreciated about her as well.

So when you, once again, found yourself entering Molly’s Nine Eyes, Molly immediately sensed your distress. Molly had a way of guessing quite accurately, is how you’d describe it simply on account of it being utterly indescribable.

He was good at reading people, was perhaps the clearest way to word it.

“Well, well, well. Now that simply won’t do. A frown? In my shop? Better tell me what’s wrong so we can do something about it.” Molly patted the spot on the plush couch next to him and you took a seat, half in Molly’s brotherly embrace.

“Molly, this a really weird thing to be worrying about, but I’ve been trying to figure out my feelings for Essek.” You explained, and Molly nodded along, as if he had anticipated it (which he likely had).

Molly knew of your overthinking, and your worrying. He often joked you’d go prematurely gray at this rate, a joke you knew had actual concern for you at its core.

“Y’know kid, if you ask me, you both got it bad for each other. The fleeting looks, the longing, it’s really poetic.” Molly grinned at you. “I think you should go for it, and this is not just my general outlook on life talking.”

“You think so, Molly? You’re not just bullshitting?” You glanced at Molly.

“Me? Lie?” He laughed at his own joke there. Man was known for a little bit of deception, as long as it was in good fun. “Though honestly, (Y/N), you’ve always been there for us, I wouldn’t suggest anything to actually harm you. If I didn’t think this Essek kid was into you, I would _never_ ever think about telling you all this.”

He was right. Molly was a man of integrity in the end, that much you knew. He cared for his people more than anything else. Guilt gnawed at you for doubting him. It wasn’t right.

“Now don’t give me that face, dear. It’s all okay, no offence taken.” You smiled at him. “See? This is what I like.” He booped you on the nose, making you chuckle.

“Thank you, Molly, truly.” You embraced your friend, hearing him huff slightly but melting into the hug.

“Anytime, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, the most fun part of this entire AU was Molly just being Molly


	8. 8

Once again, it was time for the Mighty Meeting, the second one Essek would be invited to.

This time, you intentionally met up with Essek at the train station. When you spotted him in the crowd, instead of your usual greeting, you opted for a hug instead, paired with a quiet “hey”. Y’know. To test the waters.

Essek was surprised at first, caught off-guard. It took him a few miniscule moments during your brief hug to reciprocate. His hug was soft, unsure. He was evidently testing the waters, but honestly? You’d take it. It was short, of course. Hugging any longer would be awkward and something you wouldn’t subject Essek to at the well-frequented train station.

After you parted, you went on to conversation as usual. Anything from lectures to anecdotes about friends and family, whatever came to mind, really, was topic of conversation during the time it took you two to arrive at The Blooming Grove.

This time around you weren’t the last ones to arrive. Yasha and Beau were still missing, traffic, as they had texted. This essentially meant that you would have been the last ones to arrive if it weren’t for traffic. Ignoring that, you took your seats as usual on the couch wedged between Caleb and Caduceus.

The topics of conversation were all over the place, as per usual. Caduceus told you about his newest fungus find when he went out for a hike the other day while you vaguely heard Molly interrogating Essek on his skincare routine, and while Essek initially insisted he did not use any product, Molly’s stubbornness and sheer power of persuasion got Essek to spill the name of his moisturizer.

Jester asked Essek about his favorite sweets, a classic Jester question, to which he replied that he usually wasn’t much of a snacker, but when he did crave something, he’d go for something chocolate-y like truffles. This made you smile because… you know.

The lesbians arrived 20 minutes after you and Essek, entering the establishment while taking off their helmets, slightly disheveled from the helmet as well as the general act of riding a motorcycle.

They got settled, Beau draping herself half over Yasha, who didn’t mind, and half over Molly, who also didn’t mind. After cursing a bit over the “ass traffic”, as Beau had eloquently put it, they started engaging in conversation as usual.

It was Fjord’s turn to direct a question at Essek.

“Say, Essek, I’ve been meaning to ask but how come you wear those rollerblades everywhere?” Fjord wondered rightfully.

“It’s a thing of expectation. I started it as a bit of a joke once, but it just stuck. People come to expect it.” Essek explained, similarly to how he had explained it to you.

“Even in museums and stuff?” Veth asked and Essek nodded. “That’s legal?”

“Pretty sure it’s not, but I’ve found anything goes if you do it with enough confidence.”

You felt like the Nein’s appreciation for Essek skyrocketed then. The Mighty Nein’s unofficial motto was “be gay, do crime”, which every member fulfilled with varying degrees of gay and crime, though it was always a bit gay and a bit illegal.

The night went great, overall. Essek asked multiple questions himself, mainly geared towards Jester and Caduceus, who he was most comfortable with aside from you and Caleb.

You had been convinced Essek enjoyed the night too, but when you both took the train home, he quietened down significantly. At first you figured he was simply tired. From what you understood he was quite the introvert, so maybe he was just tuckered out. That didn’t exactly stop you from wondering, though.

Both of you left the station in the pale moonlight, stars overhead only barely visible due to the light pollution from the city lights. The night was relatively mild, not too warm either. You walked a small bit together until you reached the street you had to go separate ways at.

Mustering up courage you didn’t know you had to muster up, you spoke.

“Essek, is everything okay? You suddenly got so quiet.” You looked at him as you both came to a stop.

Essek seemed to mull over what to say.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell m-“ You started, though you were promptly interrupted.

“I-“ Essek had begun, rather quietly. Looking a bit distressed, seemingly mustering up courage of his own. “Would it, ah, be okay for you to hug me again?”

His question was innocent, sheepishly delivered, yet it held weight. It held weight for you at least. You didn’t know why, but it clicked then that maybe, just maybe, Essek was utterly touch starved. Something in you fluttered, squeezed at your heart.

As if it was second nature to you, you enveloped Essek in your arms. Tense at first, foreign to the sensation of affectionate touch, intimate to this degree, he slowly eased into the embrace. A shuddered breath escaped his lips and you feared he would shed a tear. You tightened your hold reassuringly, your hand finding the back of his head, tangling the silvery locks of his hair. With your grip tightening, his did too. Desperate almost yet savoring every drop of affection you offered up to him, wasting none of it. You felt satisfaction from keeping him safe, felt content as he let loose in your company.

Ending his embrace was one of the hardest things you’d done in recent times, closely following behind the subsequent goodbye.

~

Essek was left with much on his plate once he parted ways with you that night. Thoughts floating around of a kind he had barely experienced before. Warm fluttery feelings that would flare up whenever he saw you, got a message from you, heard from you, thought of you. It was foreign to him, the sweetness of it all. It was foreign, strange, and frankly? It scared him quite a bit. So naturally, Essek withdrew, caught up in his thoughts, working more than he usually did.

This pondering hadn’t eluded Verin. It reminded him of the times when Essek chose to drown out his troubles by occupying his mind until he collapsed. Back when they were still living at home, when his strained relationship to their father and their mother, became too much for him to deal with.

Essek was reading a novel when a knock was heard on the door of his room, accompanied by a quiet “Can I come in, Essek?”.

“Sure, Verin.” Essek spoke, eyes still glued to the page of his novel.

Verin quietly entered the room and took a seat on the foot of the bed, legs close to his chest. Verin didn’t speak for a few moments.

“Hey, Essek, you know you can tell me if something’s wrong, right?” He eventually spoke, causing Essek to finally look at Verin.

Essek had never seen Verin look so… openly worried about him.

“Verin, what’s this about?” Essek wasn’t sure what to focus on. “Is something the matter?”

“I was hoping _you_ would tell me.” Verin confessed. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, but something is troubling you and I’m trying to be a good brother.”

Ah, he should have known. Essek mulled over what he had said, unused to the genuine offer to emotional assistance.

He did need advice, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to let Verin that close. Neither of them really ever had been too open to the other. Sure, they were aware of each other’s moods, growing up in the same parental environment with similar expectations. But this? It was different than what he had been doing before. It made him unsure, and he didn’t quite know how to react.

But if there is one thing he had learned from you, then it’s that change might not be the worst thing in this world.

“I--.” Essek spoke. “I may be in love with (Y/N).”

The words hadn’t come easy to him, though they felt… right. Essek watched as Verin’s expression softened at his words, this twinge of relief flooding over him. Verin’s stare, mouth agape in relieved surprise, a small smile tugging at his lips, was unnerving to Essek ever so slightly. This wasn’t a clear-cut matter he could categorize easily; it was uncertainty.

Essek wasn’t opposed to uncertainty. The universe, the very things he studied were shrouded in mystery. But this was different, this came down to his very person and it was something he did not have much prior experience with.

Verin seemed to have caught up to his conflict too, a furrow now present in his brow, the beginnings of that smile faded.

“Essek, I think that’s a wonderful thing. Aren’t you thrilled?” Verin leaned in a bit.

“Not particularly, no. I am not sure about this.” Essek admitted. “There is so much to consider.”

This caused Verin to let out a small huff.

“There you go again with that mind of yours.” Verin flicked Essek’s forehead. “That’s not a matter you can rationalize.”

“Well I can surely try-“

“Essek, no.”

Essek just let out a deep sigh.

“I’ve just never felt like this and can’t tell if what I feel is true.”

Verin thought for a moment.

“What _do_ you feel?”

“I feel…” Essek paused to find the right words. “I feel happy, light. There’s this desire to be close and this freedom of expectation. I want to see them happy, safe.”

“Sounds like love to me.” Verin smiled. “And I think they like you too, you know?”

Verin moved from the bed, stretched, and gave Essek one last smile as he ruffled his hair to mess with him. He then left Essek’s room.

Essek closed the novel and put it on his nightstand. Reading could wait, for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Essek is so hard to write for even though I've done it a few times already.  
> The scene with Verin was originally written to be between Essek and Caleb, but my Shadowgast heart could barely write it, much less publish it :,) I think a brotherly scene fitted better anyways, in part because I just adore sibling dynamics.


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted angst yesterday, so as an apology, here's some fluff

It was fairly early in the morning when Veth texted the group chat.

**_Enemy of the state_ **

_GUYS it is Yeza’s and my wedding  
anniversary and guess who forgot  
to get a babysitter._

_Who wants to take one for the team_

_Except for Molly_

It was a well-known fact that Veth and Yeza’s child, Luc, was a delight, taking after his mother in general chaos but getting a milder, more polite side from his dad.

You also understood Veth’s request for Molly to not volunteer. The first (and last) time Molly had taken care of young Luc, Molly had given Luc some alcohol simply because he wanted to see what would happen. It wasn’t a lot of alcohol, but Yeza and Veth were less than thrilled to find out regardless.

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_I can take him for tonight_

_But only if I get to raid ur fridge lmao_

_Also happy anniversary :)_

**_Floaty boi_ **

_Didn’t we plan to work on the paper  
together today? You said you could  
only do late afternoon to evening._

_Happy anniversary to you and your  
husband, Veth!_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Essek, dearest, ever heard of multitasking?_

_Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Get free food  
from Veth’s fridge_

**_Blueberry_ **

_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Awful. All of you._

**_Enemy of the state_ **

_You know what, (Y/N). You get the job._

_And permission to eat food from the fridge_

_You’re responsible_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_SUCCESS_

_@Floaty Boi I’ll text u the address_

**_Floaty Boi_ **

_I am awful with children but I  
shall do my best._

****

**_Enemy of the state_ **

_Be there at 6 or else_

Essek and you made it to Veth’s house at 6pm sharp. You both had brought your stuff for uni work, something Essek was hesitant about. You reassured him, however, and explained that Luc was 4, and a fairly manageable kid with an early bed time at that.

When she opened the door, Veth was dressed in a very nice yellow dress, Yeza was in the back putting on his dress shoes. Veth hugged you and Essek as a greeting.

“Happy Anniversary, Veth, Yeza!” You grinned at the married couple. Essek followed suit in his congratulations.

“Thank you! Please, come inside!” Veth stepped aside. “(Y/N), you know where everything is, you’ve done this before. We’ll be back by midnight. If not, we’re dead.” To which Yeza gave a slightly panicked _“honey, no”._

Then, the sound of teeny tiny footsteps thundering down the wooden stairs met your ears. The kid was fast as fuck for someone with legs that short, you noted as he came barreling towards you, throwing his little body at you to catch.

Naturally, you caught him, even if the force of his attack made you stumble a bit. Essek steadied you.

“Woah there, little one. Didn’t know you evolved into a rocket since the last time I saw ya.” You set him down and ruffled his hair.

“I put dinner in the fridge, you just need to warm it up.” Veth notified you. She kissed her son on the forehead, warned him to be good and then turned to you once more. “I know you’re not the types but no funny business.”

“Funny busine--?”

“Nope. No funny business, only uni assignments.” You interrupted Essek before he would inevitably get embarrassed. “Now go have fun you two!”

And out the door they went.

Luc eyed Essek curiously as he clung to your leg.

“Who’re you?” He asked, pulling at Essek’s black cardigan. Essek crouched down and extended his hand for Luc to take, which was pretty funny to watch.

“My name is Essek Thelyss. I am (Y/N)’s friend. Nice to meet you.” Essek spoke. Luc nodded wisely.

“Yes. Nice to meet you.”

Ah, Essek has been accepted.

“Well, kiddo, why don’t we get you some dinner.” You ruffled his hair again and, just for fun, ruffled Essek’s hair too. This earned you one excited look up at you and one… incredibly confused one.

Finding and warming up the food Veth had prepared in the microwave, you listened as Luc began to rapid-fire questions at Essek, all of which he answered just as fast. Who would win this epic battle? The 4-year-old boy with more curiosity than you could ever think of possessing or the genius university student with an abundance of actual knowledge of how things worked. It was quite entertaining.

The questions didn’t stop, either. They went on and on even past dinner, and Essek indulged them tirelessly, even when they stopped concerning himself and started just… asking for general explanations on things like taxes, and traffic rules, animal biology or, more up Essek’s alley, basic physics.

Suffice to say, Luc was a fan.

Accordingly, it was harder than usual to get Luc to go to bed. He brushed his teeth, sure, but in the short time he has known Essek, he had already imprinted on your friend to the point of demanding he read him his bedtime story.

And Essek took it like a trouper.

You waited downstairs, making sure to remember to tell Veth all about Luc’s new favorite Nein member once she comes home. For someone who said he wasn’t good with kids, he sure as hell was good with this kid. You checked for phone.

**_Dead People Freak_ **

_How’s babysitting going? :)_

**_PeaCOCK_ **

_Yea how IS it going_

**_Looking… Respectfully_ **

_Luc adores Essek so much he will NOT_  
let the man catch a break lmao send ur  
prayers

**_Blueberry_ **

_Awww Essek is making new friends_

Essek then came downstairs, a little weary, you could tell, but fairly content. You repressed your craving to hug the man.

“It took 20 minutes of math to get him to sleep.” Essek spoke quietly, as if fearing Luc would wake up.

“It would take 20 minutes of math to get me to sleep too.” You chuckled before patting the spot on the couch next to you. “Sit, you pro babysitter.”

He flopped on the couch fairly ungracefully, at least by his standards, and let out a deep sigh. You went to get some snacks for the both of you. And then, work began.

The later it got, the more you noticed Essek dozing off. Poking him a couple of times to wake him up, you did your best to concentrate on your own work. That is, until around 11pm you felt something heavy lean on your shoulder. Tufts of white locks tickled your cheeks as you turned to see Essek passed out on your shoulder.

With a small fond smile, you shifted to accommodate your new role as Essek’s pillow and resumed.

When Veth returned home with her husband, she found both her friends asleep on the couch, Essek resting his head on (Y/N)’s shoulder, who in turn rested on Essek’s head.

Quietly, she snapped a photo, sent it to the group chat immediately, and woke the two up with the offer to drive them home.

You were too sleepy to care, but the reality of it all sunk in at home when you opened the group chat to find that Veth had taken a photo of you two, which the other commented on quite quickly with hearts and teasing.

Sneakily, you put the photo as your phone’s lock screen.

Unbeknownst to you, Essek was doing the same.

~

Things had been going great until they weren’t anymore. Mere days before you had to submit your paper, you caught a nasty cold. Unfortunate and a pain, but not terribly detrimental. You had finished the largest bulk of your writing, only needing a few tweaks and rounds of proofreading. Which is precisely what you were supposed to be doing right now…except you didn’t because of the cold you currently sported.

You found yourself barely able to wobble into the kitchen to make yourself a tea, not to mention eat. You felt groggy and disgusting all over and frankly did not want to do anything all day.

Then the doorbell rang, which you ignored. It rang for a second time. Pause. A third time followed by another pause. Lastly, your phone rang. You picked up hesitantly with a gruff “What.”

“Oh, my apologies, (Y/N), did I misremember our meeting today?” You recognized Essek’s voice immediately and began hobbling to the door, wrapped in you blanket while you ended the phone call.

Maybe a tad too fast, you opened the door to a surprised Essek, who had likely heard the commotion within your apartment.

“You appear to be sick.” Essek spoke. “I am sorry, that was rather unhelpful. Can I come inside?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want you to get sick, Essek.” You looked up at him, tired yet filled with worry.

“Please?” He almost begged. “I really don’t want you to be alone like this.”

Your body untensed a bit at his words, a small huff escaping you. He was playing a dangerous game; you didn’t know if your heart could take his genuine worry for your well-being. Defeated, you stepped aside.

Your apartment was a bit of a mess. Due to your current state of sickness, you hadn’t exactly tidied any messes around the living room or kitchen. Hell, you had forgotten you had a reason to clean up after all.

“Please go lie down, I’ll go sit by you with a bit of distance if that makes you feel better.” There was a crease in his brow as he spoke. You settled down and so did he, once he had made sure you had tea and water. The worried expression didn’t leave his face, the frown didn’t fade.

“Hey Essek.” You got his attention with your nasal words. “Don’t look so upset, it’s just a cold.”

“But you’re unwell—”

“And you’re being dramatic. It’ll fade.” You smiled, an attempt to reassure him. He just huffed with a small smile of his own.

“I suppose you’re right.” He spoke with a small chuckle. “My apologies.”

“No need to apologize, Essek. It’s quite endearing.” You grinned at him, a sneeze interrupting you. “Ugh. Let’s try and work a bit, ‘kay? I’ll send you what I’ve written so far.”

And so you worked quite a bit, slower than usual, but you were productive. Essek took great care to match your pace, looking out for you constantly. Your glass of water was empty? He would go and refill if before you had even registered it to be empty. Your box of tissues ran out? Essek would rummage through your cupboards until he found more. He was a darling, a bit overdramatic, maybe, but a darling. It was nice to have someone care so much.

To feel protected. You thought back to Jester.

When it neared lunchtime, you informed Essek that you were going to reheat some soup you had made with Caduceus the other day. This was something Essek did his very best to undermine, pushing you back into the couch. You, naturally, protested. The compromise you ended up on was that Essek would let you be in the kitchen with him while he was at the stove.

You explained that you simply didn’t want him to be alone, earning you a sweet smile on his end. 

When you sat there, eating together, you felt a sense of domestic bliss. It was comfortable despite your current illness. And from the way Essek sat with you on the couch, glancing in your direction every once in a while, smiling subtly each time your eyes would lock, you had a feeling he experienced the moment similarly.

You finished your bowl with a content sigh.

“Say, Essek.” You spoke, and while you didn’t see him look at you, you felt his questioning gaze. “When we have finished our project, do you maybe want to go out?”

Essek seemed to bluescreen at that. The cogs were almost audible as they turned in his head, trying to figure out if you did indeed mean what he thought you meant.

“Like, ah, pardon if this is presumptuous, like on a date?” Essek’s cheeks had some additional color to them.

“Yeah. Like on a date.” Your hands still felt warm from the bowl of soup you had just emptied. Your face felt much the same.

“A date…” Essek’s eyes were filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, though you swore there was a glimmer of hope and glee. “I would like that.”

“Me too.” You smiled.

“First let’s make sure you recover, okay?” The fond expression on Essek’s face was one you could get used to easily.

“Okay.”

You were quite sure then that those pesky butterflies would not settle anytime soon.


	10. 10

A week went by. Your shared paper was submitted and to be graded, you recovered quickly, partly thanks to Essek’s regular check-ins via text, reminding you to eat and drink, and the date was upon you.

You had insisted to surprise him, to which he reluctantly agreed. You got the sense he did not particularly enjoy being surprised, yet he let it slide this once. He did insist, however, that you tell him how he should dress for the occasion. Evidently, he feared you would take him out to a fancy dinner place. As if you’d have the money for one of those actually fancy places.

What you were actually planning was a visit to the local planetarium. The planetarium had a show for more experienced audiences, and you managed to snag some pretty good tickets (with a student discount!). Afterwards, you planned on simply eating dinner with him at your apartment.

You relayed only the vibe, if you will, of the date to Essek so he could dress accordingly. However, you were quite certain that even his normal wardrobe would outdress you easily… unless you had the help of your friends.

Jester and Caleb were the only ones you had told of the date and both were over the moon for you. Caleb in his more subtle way while Jester blew your phone up with reaction images.

The day before, after you had done some preparation for the dinner, Jester and Caleb both made their way to your apartment. To give fashion advice, of course. You didn’t quite know why Caleb was there, since he was not much of a fashionista, at least not compared to some of your other friends, but this was his way of supporting you and for that you were thankful.

In a whirlwind of what seemed like one of those makeover scenes from early 2000s movies, you settled for an appropriate look while also spending some quality time with some of the people you loved the most.

On Essek’s end, things looked only slightly different.

Verin had been minding his own business, he really had, when he heard his dear older brother mumble about something in his room, door left slightly ajar. He worried a bit, afraid Essek was spiraling or having other similar problems. What he found instead when he opened the door… did stump him, however.

His dearest brother, quiet, serious, a leader, was standing in front of his mirror, checking different _outfits_ of all things.

Verin cleared his throat.

“Are you… going anywhere?” Verin asked, though he already had an idea.

“Ah, Verin.” Essek played cool and unbothered. A futile attempt on his part. “Not today, no.”

“Tomorrow, then.” Verin grinned. “Hmmm… let me guess. It’s a date.”

“A date?” Essek huffed incredulously. If his overly offended tone hadn’t given it away, the slight flush that crept upon his ears certainly did. “Who would invite _me_ on a date?”

“Oh, oh, oh! I know this one!” Verin joked. “It’s that friend of yours from the other day. You know. They one you have a crush on.”

Essek just mumbled unintelligibly as he looked to the side all flustered, confirming a “yes” for Verin, who was done with jokes and teasing.

“Hey Essek, I’m real happy for you, you know? You deserve this.” He caught Essek’s gaze in the mirror. Verin then turned to leave.

“By the way, I think you should go with that black turtleneck and pair it with that really nice purple cardigan I got you for your birthday last year. Oh, put on some more jewelry than usual too. Shows you care.” Verin gave Essek one last reassuring smile before turning to leave. Yeah, his brother was in good hands and that was all that mattered.

Both Essek and you went to bed nervous that day.

The next day came fast while the later afternoon, when you had agreed to come pick Essek up, came agonizingly slow. You were plenty busy preparing both yourself and the dinner, which you would complete preparing once you would return with Essek in tow. You also spent your time cleaning up a bit, even if Essek had already seen your apartment in one of its messier conditions back when you were sick.

You were nervous but not in a nauseating way. It was a feeling more akin to anticipation, a giddy feeling accompanied by those pesky butterflies that would disturb every waking moment you spent with close to Essek. It wasn’t unpleasant, it was gratifying and beautiful in a way. Especially now that you had a sense of reciprocity, what you had previously dismissed, you now embraced.

But those were just your shower thoughts.

After getting out of the shower and drying off, you started getting dressed, styling your hair, and applying any finishing touches you deemed necessary in the moment. You also did not neglect to snap a quick picture of your get-up for Jester, who replied with just shy of 3 dozen heart-emojis. Good to know you looked killer.

Just before exiting you took a deep breath and double checked whether you had the tickets on you.

Meanwhile, Essek was drowning in nerves. And Verin wasn’t helping.

Essek understood that his brother was happy for him and wanted to assist him to ensure his success this evening. However, the way Verin was hovering around him and asking questions, especially about any _gifts_ he had planned to give you, was honestly making Essek lose his composure.

He did not, in fact, get you any gifts. Essek didn’t think he _needed_ to. He had considered it but then he remembered how adamantly you had shot down any and all attempts at making this entire date seem… even. Essek understood quite fast though that you were trying to do something for him, he just hoped you’d accept his offer to pay you back at an eventual second date.

Oh dear, the thought alone made Essek’s nerves flare up once more.

All this, Essek had tried to communicate to Verin, who was still pulling all sorts of possible accessories from various drawers and boxes. It took a few tries to get the message through to Verin, which was tribute to the dedication Verin showed to a date that was entirely not his.

Essek did properly decide on an ensemble with Verin together, and he had to admit… he looked good. The look was definitely one of Essek’s more comfortable and casual looks, yet it still had those sleek elements that Essek adored. Black turtleneck with black pants, an oversized cardigan in a flattering deep dark violet and all sorts of dangly earrings and necklaces – sophisticated while remaining comfortable. Essek even put on some make-up, slightly less subtle than his every day look. Just to feel special.

The last tough choice to make before you would inevitably arrive, was the matter of shoes. The rollerblades… were a classic, his thing. But now he was wondering if he even needed them, if he _wanted_ them around.

The doorbell rang, so he quickly grabbed a black pair of regular non-rollerblades and headed to the door before Verin could reach it.

Verin apparently hadn’t tried to reach it, otherwise he easily could have, which was reassuring. So, Essek opened the door with a nervous smile. To him, you looked stunning. Admittedly, you always did, but the thought that you had dressed up with particular care simply to spend time with him made his smile subconsciously widen.

You had always thought Essek was one of the most handsome men you had ever seen in your entire life and truly, he did not disappoint.

“Hi Essek!” You opened your arms for an Essek hugTM, which he graciously accepted. As you glanced past Essek’s shoulder, you saw Verin give you a thumbs up through his cracked-open door.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Essek greeted you in return. “I’m almost ready, just going to put on my shoes and a jacket.”

He did and with a small goodbye to Verin (who had informed Essek not to worry about staying out late) you both were off.

The journey to the planetarium was filled with idle chatter as you two slowly began to warm up to the new context of a “date” you found yourselves in. Eventually, the conversation did pick up, especially as Essek had taken up guessing where you were taking him.

(“Cinema.” – “No.” – “Theater.” – “Also a no.” – “Museum.” – “They close too soon.”, and thus it went on.)

Exiting the train station near the planetarium, you took the fairly short final walk as the opportunity to let the cat out of the bag.

“Well, since we’re almost there…” You glanced over at him and Essek glanced at you in return. “I happened to have been able to acquire tickets to quite the fascinating show at the planetarium.”

Essek’s eyes lit up, subtly, but evidently. You chuckled at that.

“Hope that’s okay for you.” You spoke, wanting to indulge in Essek’s excitement a bit more.

“It is. I, ah, thank you.” The appreciation in his gaze was hard to miss. “This is great.”

You just bumped his shoulder and pointed ahead with a grin.

“Then let’s go!”

You got settled comfortably in your seats, excited to learn some things about space. The show went great. Every time you glanced over at Essek; his eyes were trained on the projection above in concentration. You were entirely sure that Essek already knew most, if not all, of the things mentioned, but he was a general star junkie, so he likely did not care. Man had glow in the dark stars stuck to his wall, after all.

Reassured in your choice of a date spot, you returned your attention to the show. That is, until you felt Essek’s hand hesitantly brush over yours, the contact warm, so you took his in yours.

Neither of you let go.

Even after the show had ended and you made your way back towards the train station, neither of you even _thought_ to maybe stop holding each other’s hand. Neither of you mentioned it either. It was a comfortable hold, secure and just… right.

Something did weigh on Essek’s mind, then. He had kept a secret from you and wanted nothing more than to finally share it with you. So, on the train ride back, he turned to you.

“(Y/N), I have a confession to make.” This caught your attention because of course it did. This was cryptic as hell.

“Yes? What’s wrong?” You spoke, worry seeping in.

“Well, I may not entirely have been truthful with you.” Essek averted his gaze. “Back when we received the assignment, I already knew exactly who you were.”

What… okay.

“May I ask how?” You were sure then that the confusion was written all over your face.

“Well, Caleb and I study a lot together and one day I saw his lockscreen image, which was of the two of you at the time.” You recalled that image. “I asked Caleb about the image and he started telling me all sorts of things about you.”

Hmm. You didn’t quite know if you liked the implications of “all sorts of things” considering the things Caleb knew about you but seeing as Essek was currently very much on a date with you, you supposed it couldn’t have been anything bad.

“Is that it?” You asked, a bit underwhelmed. “I don’t mind, you know.” You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I thought you were going to say something more serious. Something like you being diagnosed with a terminal illness or something. Or maybe that you killed a man. Had me worried there for a bit.”

“I am sorry, I just… didn’t want to have lied to you about that.” Essek sighed.

“And I thank you for that.” You replied. “But let’s just concentrate on what’s ahead. I hope you’re hungry!” Essek just gave you a fond smile.

So you told him about your plans for the rest of the evening, how you’d be going back to your apartment, finish up cooking and then eat. Essek was all for that plan, commenting on how he was quite hungry.

It wasn’t until you had arrived at your apartment door that you had to let go of Essek’s hand to rummage around in your bag for the keys.

Both of you kicked off your shoes upon entering and made your way to the kitchen.

Essek had, of course, insisted on helping you out even though you had already done most of the preparation beforehand. Cooking with Essek didn’t take long to evolve into a fun and familiar rhythm, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Laughter rang loudly throughout the apartment; you had even put on some fun music that you danced to while you worked.

Dinner ended up absolutely delicious, even more so because you had so much fun preparing it. The laughter resumed while you ate, exchanging stories or interesting tidbits from your respective fields of study. Somehow you just never ran out of things to talk about and that excited you.

“This tastes great.” Essek commented on the food. “I could get used to this.”

“Of course it tastes good, Essek.” You nodded wisely. “You helped me after all. That, of course, means you’ll have to do that more often.”

“It’s a deal.” He smiled and your heart skipped a beat.

Clean-up was a slower affair, mostly because you had sneakily put your slower playlist on. Once everything was clean and tidy, you both collapsed on the couch with a content sigh, hands finding each other again. You closed your eyes for a moment, before looking at Essek.

“Wanna dance?” You asked.

“I can’t dance.” He replied, simply. “But with you? I think I’ll ignore that little fact.”

You stood, giving Essek a little bow and extending your hand for him to take.

“May I please have this dance, sir?” It was hard not to burst out laughing then and there. But you were practiced.

“Ah, it would be my honor.” Essek slipped his hand in yours effortlessly and moved close to you. You danced slowly, intentional in the close proximity you shared.

Comfortable silence settled between you two, the occasional hum sounded. However, the gaze you held was strong. You barely looked away from one another. Essek’s eyes held adoration, the kind that you know would made you blush should you think back to it. There was tenderness and comfort, a dash of excitement and a sense of need for companionship, just to have the other around.

“This feels right.” You broke the silence. “The closeness.”

“I am inclined to agree.” Essek spoke in a soft voice. “I would be content if this were to continue on forever.”

“Then, would you be opposed if I were to kiss you now?” The question took a second to register in Essek’s mind, seeming too good, too much like a dream to be real. It was a cheesy thought, but by god was it accurate.

He decided his mind was too much of a mess to speak, instead he nodded leaned in hesitantly. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt your hand cup his cheek.

The kiss was tentative, soft. A first try, exploring the feeling of it. It felt like safety and home. It was warm and sweet, and it reminded Essek of Caduceus’ drink and your words.

He decided then that Caduceus was right. He did need something sweet in his life, and that something was you.

~

The next Mighty Meeting started off with cheering as the Nein had seen you and Essek enter The Blooming Grove with your hands interlocked.

Yes, maybe half the student body had a crush on Essek Thelyss, but you? You had grown to love him in his entirety.

And that was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand... that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading this silly short fic I threw together. It was fun to write, so I hope it was equally fun to read :)


End file.
